Sunday, 31 January 2010


In the race of life, we may find ourselves in different zones which I have named: 
The above zones reflect Karl Ronke's comfort, stretch and panic model.

The Complacent Zone depicts a life that is too comfortable with its achievements or losses, a life that is somewhat satisfied and is in fact quite stale. The complacent zone causes people to continually settle into the same routine. They tend to do the same things, maybe skillfully, but in this zone  they hardly learn new things, and rarely challenge themselves. It is a zone that lacks vitality and virtually is uncomfortable with change. Self development is usually missing in this zone, there is in fact no stretching, hence one tends to shrink. Being too complacent at what you do can bring about negative results in the long run .No self improvement, no progress, no positive change, only the same old familiar results . Familiarity breeds laziness, so it is likely that staying too long in the complacent zone can make you lazy.

The Progress Zone  is a zone of exploration and adventure. It is where we discard comfort for discomfort. At this zone, we take up continuous challenges that tend to stretch us. However we learn new things and improve ourselves in the end. This is the zone where we dare - we dare to learn a new language; dare to change our career; we dare to alter our circle of friends. At work, we may dare to handle a new project or department. This zone makes us challenge ourselves emotionally,mentally, and physically. It helps us to gain confidence  and gather strength. How would you react when you are faced with something you have never done before? Would you run away or face it squarely? Would you try your hands on what you are awkward with or apprehensive of? Your answers to these questions reveal whether you live in the progress zone or in the fright zone. If you run away from new  or challenging things, or avoid things you are awkward with or apprehensive of, you are in the fright zone. If you face them squarely, you are basking in the progress zone.

The Fright Zone is where we panic through fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being accepted or of being criticized At this zone we avoid new challenges, or anything we are not comfortable with. This zone does not appreciate change, and is intolerant of things we believe we would not or cannot do, no matter how stimulating it looks. At the fright zone we allow fear to rob us of positively developing ourselves because  of the lack of confidence. We mark ourselves down and never even try. The fright zone causes us to be pessimistic. For example, if you harbour the fear of public speaking, you may panic at anything that involves public speaking and possibly shun anything that includes addressing large crowds. This attitude places you in a fright zone. Instead of learning ways of overcoming this fear, you may simply feed your mind with thoughts of 'I cannot speak publicly' and eschew public speaking altogether. All forms of success are a direct result of continuous thoughts we entertain and actions we have taken. In other words, feeding your mind with thoughts of 'I cannot' will make you unsuccessful in that endeavour.

The Indifferent Zone is where we live in denial. At this zone we bask in a make belief that we are not bothered and do not care. We carry ourselves unto an island and cut ourselves off reality. The indifferent zone has a fence where we simply sit and remind ourselves that we want no trouble, so are only keeping ourselves to ourselves. Over here, we do not care if we succeed or fail. We just exist! The indifferent zone lacks motivation. Talents  are not tapped into, and skills go waste.The indifferent zone is for those without vision, those who have stopped living, and ceased dreaming. There is no hope on this island. The only food available is apathy. This zone is lifeless and must be avoided!

In conclusion, the progress zone in my opinion is the best zone to be in. However ,when we challenge ourselves in the progress zone and attain positive results , we should desist from being complacent as this will take us to the complacent zone where we may shrink. The fright zone robs us of probable success, while the indifferent zone will eventually kill and destroy us. We are better of in the progress zone, but must endeavour to continually challenge and stimulate ourselves. Never give up - dream yet another dream!

Written by Gina Bello


Sunday, 17 January 2010


 I love literature, and came across this inspirational writing by an anonymous writer. Very precious words of wisdom! I cannot help but share them with you. Kindly read on and I know you will not regret doing so.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are and who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your neighbour, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential strength,will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere - safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact,they are probably the poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.....
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT! Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again....Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself.....for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live in it!

Found and posted by Gina Bello


Wednesday, 13 January 2010


Confidence simply put is the belief in one's abilities.The following are ways you can build your confidence:
  •  LOVE YOURSELF: The first step in building your confidence is to love yourself. You are unique in every way.Your exclusive finger print says it more clearly. Accept who you are and learn to love yourself.You have strengths and weaknesses - everyone does! Don't let your flaws overpower you, burying your unique features. Confidence grows out of love for one's self. When you love yourself, you will appreciate your worth, and will be motivated to increase your value.Think on this - We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. By Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive
  • DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS:If you love yourself and realise your uniqueness, there will be no need to compare yourself to others.Constantly comparing yourself to other people is not wise and can be very draining.Life can be simpler if you learn to accept yourself as you are. Accept your strengths, face your weaknesses. Pinch yourself whenever you negatively compare yourself to another, and remind yourself of your unique nature. Avoid undue competition,be content and don't envy others. Let the achievements of others rather inspire you to have a desire to achieve.
  • FOCUS ON YOUR GOOD SIDE, STRENGTHS AND ENDOWMENTS: Acknowledging your good side, your strengths and endowments will inject into you a sense of  value, and will in turn boost your confidence. Whenever you are feeling low,brood over your positive side and traits ,and smile to yourself. I once read about how facial expressions send messages to the brain which in turn registers it. So do send a message of self worth to your brain by smiling to yourself about all the good things you are made up of.
  • IMPROVE YOURSELF: Look for ways of improving yourself. Self improvement makes us feel better about ourselves. Use the SWOT analysis to ascertain your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Once you are able to identify your strengths, endowments and interests, look for opportunities to increase your knowledge and skills in those areas. Be a star in your own small way. Once you become deft at what you do, success is next. But remember to nip in the bud anything that can threaten your success, complacency for example .
  • FACE YOUR WEAKNESSES; ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS: Your weaknesses are part of your unique nature -face them! Do not hide your flaws, and don't live your life keeping up false appearances. Be yourself, enjoy life! You have flaws, but so does everyone else. Look for ways of bettering yourself, if there is any way to reduce the effect of your weakness, then do pursue it. But in all, don't be too hard on yourself. If you have a disability, look at it as your unique difference. Do not allow your flaws to exhaust you.There is nothing perfect in life, so kindly do not waste your life by always seeking perfection.Work hard but avoid perfectionism!
  •  ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS: Do not deflect or reject compliments,accept them! Rejecting compliments is not a sign of humility. Compliments help us to improve our self image. If you want to increase your self esteem, you need to be true to your efforts and endowments. Accepting compliments is not a sign of being puffed up, but is a good indicator that you are not oblivious of your worth. Learn to smile and say thank you whilst receiving a compliment. It will help you feel good about yourself and aid you to appreciate and celebrate your positive qualities.

  •  TAKE UP CHALLENGES:  The deeper you dig, the more likely you are to find treasure. To make yourself feel good, take up new challenges, realistic ones of course, and work hard towards accomplishing it. Deal with fear, it's only False Evidence Appearing Real. You can accomplish whatever you put your mind to, for where there is a will there is a way! Take it upon yourself to learn a new skill or trade, or to study a new language. There are many challenges you could take on. Accomplishing your challenge will positively affect your level of confidence - so go on, explore!
  •  BE ASSERTIVE; STICK TO YOUR PRINCIPLES :Confident people are able to take a stand and do speak their minds freely ,openly and politely. You don't have to put up a show to be heard. When you do not agree to something, take a stand. Do not feel inferior to others. Don't be stifled by the opinions of others, you deserve to have a mind of your own and to own an opinion. 
  •  KEEP FIT AND PRACTICE A GOOD POSTURE: How you carry yourself says a lot about you. People usually will receive you or not based on the self image you portray.Human beings usually smell a low self esteem, so learn to walk with a spring in your step. Feel good about yourself, exercise and eat healthy to keep a good figure, dress up comfortably and walk confidently. Confidence conquers half of your life's battles, so think it, walk it and live it.
Just as Eleanor Roosevelt declared - ''Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.''

Written by Gina Bello


Monday, 11 January 2010


 Mark 9:23
''If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Positive thinking is essential for living a successful life. What you spend time thinking about registers on your mind.You must learn to be positive about life, and train yourself to utter more positive words each day. As these words and thoughts get engraved on your mind, they will propel you into the right actions that will enable you lead a successful life.

  • Instead of saying Nothing good happens to me
                           rather say
          Good things are happening to me

  •   Instead of saying I am clumsy
            try saying I am graceful and well coordinated

  • Do not say I will not make it / I cannot
          Instead say I shall make it / I can

Avoid saying I am bad at this or bad at that. If you rather keep saying I am good at this and good at that, and put your mind to becoming good at it, you shall be good at it. Positive affirmations are very good at transforming us over a period of time. They are sign posts that attract good things our way, and help us to mentally develop good attitudes and actions that render good results.

According to Wikipedia, Autosuggestion is a process by which an individual trains the subconscious mind to believe something, or systematically schematizes the person's own mental associations, usually for a given purpose. Autosuggestion is most commonly accomplished by presenting (either through caressing or bombarding) one's mind with repetitive thoughts (negative or positive), until those thoughts become internalized. Practitioners typically hope to transmute thoughts into beliefs, and even into actualities. Visualizing the manifestations of a belief, verbally affirming it, and thinking it using one's "internal voice", are typical means of influencing one's mind via repetitive autosuggestion.

From the above, we learn that one's thoughts when repetitive become engrafted into firm beliefs and later develop into actual happenings. A belief when it is visualised and verbally uttered or thought about tend to become real actions. In simple terms: You mentally picture it, speak it or think about it constantly, and you will have it. This is because what you continually dwell on is what your actions will be focused on.

Change your negative confessions into positive ones, and if you practice this over time, you shall begin to see positive changes. If I should tell you:
  • " Don't go swimming"  Did you picture someone or yourself swimming? 
A second example:
  • "Do not touch the red chair" Did you see a red chair mentally? 
That is how autosuggestions function. In view of this, paint more positive pictures than negative ones, and let your mind and soul lead you into positive actions.

Yes you can!!!!

As Jesus said : ''If you can?" "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Written by Gina Bello


Friday, 8 January 2010


Confidence or the lack of it tells on our behaviour, speech and on our general conduct. The level of confidence we depict usually reflects our past experiences and thought line.

The little child who is tongue lashed each time he or she makes a mistake grows up feeling inadequate and afraid to venture into any meaningful endeavour, simply harbouring the fear of failing or making a mistake. Such a child may grow into a timid and wasted adult, yet with so much potential within. Probably angry and frustrated; possibly emptying all his or her bottled up negative feelings in social vices, thus becoming a social misfit. Worse still, this child could grow up stifled and depressed.

A continually raped victim could be left feeling broken, used, and may tend to have a very low self esteem. Such an individual if not well counselled could develop self image issues, subsequently becoming mediocre in thinking and might as well have moral issues. People with low self esteem often are cantankerous and/or rude. Most often, we put all sorts of labels on the behaviour of people who bear the brunt of a painful past, and are struggling emotionally, yet with a masquerade or false front to show society.

The above are a few examples of smoke screens used to disguise the lack of confidence. There are many more examples: shunning away from  compliments, boasting unduly, being bossy, living in another’s shadow or being overly conscious of your mistakes,et cetera.

On the contrary, self confident people have a buzz around them. They believe in themselves and are basically go getters – they make things happen! They are not afraid to try new things and do take up challenges. They admit failures and mistakes, but to do not allow these to deter them from trying again. Self confident people do not seek affirmation from others and therefore are not afraid to take a stand in the face of opposition and intimidation. They express their opinions openly and are assertive.

 As we grow, our experiences shape us into various characters. The environment in which we live in can make or mar us. Comments that people, especially family pass about us tend to affect us positively or negatively. Slowly but gradually what we go through in life inform our thoughts and aid in creating our self image and efficacy : what we think of ourselves, that is the mental image we have of ourselves or how we rate/evaluate ourselves; our perception of our capabilities and abilities; our level of resilience; our emotions and reactions.

A poor self image and a negative self efficacy induce a lack of confidence; whereas a good self image and a positive self efficacy inject confidence into us. Take some time to evaluate yourself and find out whether or not you have confidence.

All the best!

Written by Gina Bello


Thursday, 7 January 2010



For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

You are what you think. What you believe you are is what you shall become. Your thoughts are a reflection of where you are going, they spell out what you would achieve or accomplish.

Positive thoughts bring about positive results. Negative thoughts breed negativity. Optimism ignites right actions that lead to good results. Pessimism delivers wrong actions. It is a menace that will come home to roost and render bad results.

Your thoughts are a window to your future, though they are formed by either your past or present experiences. Everyone has a belief system that controls him or her. What you believe in are like tiny strips of strings that control a puppet. You may not literally see the strings. But the actions of the puppet are in accordance to the movements of the strings that are attached to it. Your thoughts control your life, and determine which way you will take; what action you shall take; et cetera, et cetera.

Positive thoughts spur you on to victory. They ignite the right actions. They make mountains surmountable. They inflame the passion of your vision or goal. What you believe you will accomplish is what you shall accomplish. Though it may not be a walk in the park, if you put your mind to it, you shall attain or achieve it.

When you face a challenge, don't be quick to say "I cannot." Try saying -"How can I?" It will make all the difference. OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE
What did you read? Was it :


When you fail, try again. Take a cue from Thomas Edison's view on his failed attempts at inventing the light globe, - "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." This positive attitude of Thomas Edison, I believe is what made him successful. Your success is in your mind, words and actions. And all these three are correlated.

Let good thoughts engulf your mental faculty. Eradicate negative and bad thoughts. Let this be a continuous exercise. It will take a lot of self control and self awareness to do this. But once it becomes a life style, there is no end to the great and positive things you can achieve.

HAPPY 2010!

Written and posted by Gina Bello



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