WISE WHISPER

LIFE IS IN STAGES ; BLESSINGS ARE IN TIMINGS; OPPORTUNITIES ARE TIED WITH DEADLINES BUT DREAMS ARE BOUNDLESS!





Friday 8 January 2010

CONFIDENCE

Confidence or the lack of it tells on our behaviour, speech and on our general conduct. The level of confidence we depict usually reflects our past experiences and thought line.


The little child who is tongue lashed each time he or she makes a mistake grows up feeling inadequate and afraid to venture into any meaningful endeavour, simply harbouring the fear of failing or making a mistake. Such a child may grow into a timid and wasted adult, yet with so much potential within. Probably angry and frustrated; possibly emptying all his or her bottled up negative feelings in social vices, thus becoming a social misfit. Worse still, this child could grow up stifled and depressed.

A continually raped victim could be left feeling broken, used, and may tend to have a very low self esteem. Such an individual if not well counselled could develop self image issues, subsequently becoming mediocre in thinking and might as well have moral issues. People with low self esteem often are cantankerous and/or rude. Most often, we put all sorts of labels on the behaviour of people who bear the brunt of a painful past, and are struggling emotionally, yet with a masquerade or false front to show society.

The above are a few examples of smoke screens used to disguise the lack of confidence. There are many more examples: shunning away from  compliments, boasting unduly, being bossy, living in another’s shadow or being overly conscious of your mistakes,et cetera.


On the contrary, self confident people have a buzz around them. They believe in themselves and are basically go getters – they make things happen! They are not afraid to try new things and do take up challenges. They admit failures and mistakes, but to do not allow these to deter them from trying again. Self confident people do not seek affirmation from others and therefore are not afraid to take a stand in the face of opposition and intimidation. They express their opinions openly and are assertive.

 As we grow, our experiences shape us into various characters. The environment in which we live in can make or mar us. Comments that people, especially family pass about us tend to affect us positively or negatively. Slowly but gradually what we go through in life inform our thoughts and aid in creating our self image and efficacy : what we think of ourselves, that is the mental image we have of ourselves or how we rate/evaluate ourselves; our perception of our capabilities and abilities; our level of resilience; our emotions and reactions.

A poor self image and a negative self efficacy induce a lack of confidence; whereas a good self image and a positive self efficacy inject confidence into us. Take some time to evaluate yourself and find out whether or not you have confidence.

All the best!






Written by Gina Bello

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